Admiring Gainsborough

Admiring Gainsborough

Friday, June 15, 2012

Things...lots of things.

So one of the craziest things about being a parent, is watching parts of you unfold in your child. Maybe these things are wonderful and maybe these things are not so great. I mentioned last time that I took an anger management class and although I learned quite a bit, I've found it hard to "maintain" the lesson. I need to practice. A lot. My son is so much like me it's scary. I prayed when he was nursing that he wouldn't absorb any of my bullshit. Well, among other things like crack or even a little wine, babies or at least, my baby, absorbed my bullshit. He's got a real gift for picking up my negativity and running with it. When I say bullshit, I mean over spending, mindless, unproductive behavior and a serious case of the gimmies. It's the "things" that I love. It's almost like an addiction for me. I need to see what's out there and I try to see it from more than one perspective. Well, my boy likes things too, lots of things and it's hard for me. I don't like what I see and so I need to change it. I need to change too and I hope that I am. But, I need to change what happens with him so that he is better. I need him to be better than the things. The things have to be last and right now they're first. Things to the wayside. That's my summer motto. Let's see if it pans out.

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