When you have a child, you have opened yourself up to a world of every single possibility. I don't say that in the broad sense. I'm saying it in the literal sense. A child's ways and imagination is so vast, so endless, that you couldn't prepare yourself for the barrage of questions and/or experiences.
My son is obsessed with yoyos. Now, for better or worse, I'm obsessed with yoyos. Who knew there was so much to know about yoyos? I mean, it was wood or plastic and a sting.
No. Yoyos are so much more. There are bearings, responsive yoyos, non responsive yoyos. Plastic (delrin), metal (steel, titanium,aluminum...), it's nuts!
So, because I love my son and feign interest in whatever he is in to, I love yoyos. It's true though. I even ordered one for myself. I love the colors and textures and patterns and don't get me started on the strings!
I could link a bunch of videos showing Japanese kids yoyoing. I could roll off the names of world champions and talk about the folks we've met. Every single person I've met who is involved with yoyoing has been a wonderful, kind person.
So, that's all, even though it's quite a bit. Yoyoing is now my thing and I'm excited about it. I'm gonna throw one name out there for you to google. He's a great kid and my son's inspiration. Tyler Severance.
I like to make things. I never realized that I really enjoy making things, tinkering, using my hands in a creative way.
So I have some pretty interesting, unfinished, plain ugly and some quite beautiful things that I have made.
I see things and my first thought is, "can I make that"? It's not to take easy from the original creator's vision but only my curiosity.
Here is an example of a basket I'm still working on. It's clothesline and thread and I'm loving it except for how often I need to change the bobbin.
And the day goes on...
I am taking my boy on a road trip. I don't want to drive but I'm going to do it because I believe it's going to leave my son with a wonderful memory.
Long drives aren't my thing at all nor is organization but I'm awesome and that's all there is to it.
Wish us luck!
So summer has been a bit of a challenge so far. I wish it was easy, I wish I were the easy type, but I'm not and surprise, neither is the boy.
Oh well. So we had another hard day. Tomorrow will be better and we will go forward.
I think it's because I feel a disconnect and I'm sure he feels it too. Lately, I feel like I'm my own person and that I want to be alone. I should have titled today's post "I want to be alone"!
So today's take away for me is, patience for him, patience for myself. I have to ingratiate myself to him more than I think and he more to me. We are both a bit prickly and very sensitive.
It's my bedtime now so I'll pray on being a better person, being a better mother and waiting on a new day.
I'm much heavier/fatter than I think and it's overwhelming.My son is growing older faster than I want or can handle.He needs a calmer more patient, polite mother than I am. I'm crass.I'm still afraid of money, how to earn it, ask for it, make it, spend it, save it. The whole thing just scares the bejesus out of me.I can't seem to get my paintings to have that "finished" quality to them.I need to finish a formal education in order to feel better about myself.I hate working with my husband everyday because it bores me and then I don't want to talk to him about anything later.I'm not as nice as I should be to people. I'm scared about health care and insurance.I'm scared and sad about how people are selfish and rude and don't consider other people like they used to. Everyone is out for themselves and it's just getting worse.I don't want my son to be lazy and not live up to his potential.I'm not living up to my potential.I need a nap.Naps are great.Please and thank you spirits.Love,Rachael
So one of the craziest things about being a parent, is watching parts of you unfold in your child. Maybe these things are wonderful and maybe these things are not so great.
I mentioned last time that I took an anger management class and although I learned quite a bit, I've found it hard to "maintain" the lesson. I need to practice. A lot.
My son is so much like me it's scary. I prayed when he was nursing that he wouldn't absorb any of my bullshit. Well, among other things like crack or even a little wine, babies or at least, my baby, absorbed my bullshit.
He's got a real gift for picking up my negativity and running with it. When I say bullshit, I mean over spending, mindless, unproductive behavior and a serious case of the gimmies.
It's the "things" that I love. It's almost like an addiction for me. I need to see what's out there and I try to see it from more than one perspective.
Well, my boy likes things too, lots of things and it's hard for me. I don't like what I see and so I need to change it. I need to change too and I hope that I am. But, I need to change what happens with him so that he is better. I need him to be better than the things. The things have to be last and right now they're first.
Things to the wayside. That's my summer motto. Let's see if it pans out.