Admiring Gainsborough

Admiring Gainsborough

Sunday, July 15, 2012

I'm afraid. Inspired by Janice

I'm much heavier/fatter than I think and it's overwhelming.My son is growing older faster than I want or can handle.He needs a calmer more patient, polite mother than I am. I'm crass.I'm still afraid of money, how to earn it, ask for it, make it, spend it, save it. The whole thing just scares the bejesus out of me.I can't seem to get my paintings to have that "finished" quality to them.I need to finish a formal education in order to feel better about myself.I hate working with my husband everyday because it bores me and then I don't want to talk to him about anything later.I'm not as nice as I should be to people. I'm scared about health care and insurance.I'm scared and sad about how people are selfish and rude and don't consider other people like they used to. Everyone is out for themselves and it's just getting worse.I don't want my son to be lazy and not live up to his potential.I'm not living up to my potential.I need a nap.Naps are great.Please and thank you spirits.Love,Rachael

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